When Life Hands You Lemons….

To say I have been m.i.a. is a bit of an understatement. Life has definitely been kicking my @ss. I have dealt with heartache, loss and rejection for almost 7 months now. It all started with starting over in school. The LPN school I was attending lost its funding and expected this single mama with a minimum wage job to pay thousands of dollars for tuition…. weekly!  I finally went to another school and it was like starting over from the beginning… only to get to the test for entrance into the nursing program and fail it by 2 freaking points….. I was starting to think it was just not meant to be.

Secondly my father died unexpectantly in November 2nd of 2016 from a massive heart attack and even though we hadn’t really been talking it hit me hard. On top of that I was thrown into taking care of EVERYTHING because he was not married and I am his next of kin and oldest child. I went from a girl that would rarely attend a funeral to a girl that had to plan one. This sent my finances into a fu*k all. Funerals are expensive as all hell! So every since then paying my rent on time has been the biggest challenge.

Next was the shocking and even more unexpected death of my cousin Mark on December 2nd after losing his fight with diabetes. He died exactly a month later. I was crazy because while I was dealing with my fathers’ death he was actually staying with me, so to have him here one day sitting on my couch and gone the next was the biggest eye opener that nothing in this life is promised. He would have been 30  this past February….. then 2 weeks after his death my great uncle died.

I thought the storm was over because its believed that death comes in 3’s… so I figured I was in the clear, but boy was I wrong…

My heart,  my dearest Grandka, teacher and best friend passed away on March 2nd of 2017. This women was my everything. My mother and I took care of her up until her last breath. I don’t think I’ve ever taken a death so hard as I did hers… I’m still having the most difficult time and trust me its showing. I haven’t run or worked out since all of this madness has transpired and you know where it got me? to 312.9 pounds, smoking again and completely out of touch with my life that I had worked so hard to fix in the 1st place.

Though I am still sticking to my plant based/ vegan way of eating/life it has all been, and I kid you not, vegan junk food. That is how I was dealing with the building anxiety and depression, how I always did, with food. Everyday my clothes got tighter, I felt more and more sluggish and I didn’t have the get up and conquer the world attitude I had worked so hard to get. My drive was gone. I felt like the world would be better off without me…

Then my son, now eight years old and about to enter the 3rd grade in the fall, came to me one day and said “mommie why don’t we meditate today?” I had to fight back tears as it hit me that I had been so focused on what I was losing/what was taken from me that I completely forgot what was needed of me from this little human. I was ready to check out selfishly forgetting that this little person is my responsibility and the things that I do he watches with a magnifying glass so he can imitate…. Is this what I wanted to show my son? that when life is hard you just give up and let it swallow you whole without a fight or second thought? My son saw me struggling to lose weight, learning to find balance and in a blink an eye he saw me completely shut down.

It funny how life works because I started my health journey because of my son in the 1st place and now he, again, is the one that lit the fire under my @ss.

As of exactly one week ago I have not picked up a cigarette and on 6/14/17 I began the thing that kicked me off last time,  a 3 day juice fast from Juice from the Raw (that I totally bought months ago and has been sitting in my freezer since then waiting for me to get my sh*t together. My goal however is to juice as long as my spirit tells me to and then transition to a raw vegan diet for another undetermined length of time. I have to get my dependence of food under control before I re tackle me work out regimen.

As of today I am 307.2. Being back in the 300’s is definitely heartbreaking… I mean I got down to the 250s at one point, however I will take this journey one day at a time and continue to find my way back to health.

How do you handle lifes’ ups and downs? I think it will be very therapeutic to update my blog as often as I can so I plan to keep the posts coming. Say a little prayer for me or send those positive vibes….

Until next time

The CatchUp

Hey my Fabulous Loves!! Its your girl Sofab back with the updates you have been waiting for!

So as you all know I am waaaayyyy more active on Instagram then anywhere else but as always im striving to not forget about my little curvsceous  world but when I tell you life has had me by the……. never mind lol. If you do follow me on instagram you’ll be aware of these little facts

  1. I have gone completely VEGAN. vegan-myths-memeThat’s right I have been officially #plantpowered since December 4, 2015 and I promise it has been one of the BEST decisions I have EVER made. When we last spoke I had completed a 3 day juice cleanse. Straight from that I started a 21day plant based challenge (21daystoplantbased-google it you wont regret it) and connected with a remarkable group of vegans that have accepted me into their little family! My results from this challenge were out of this frickin world! I am completely head over heels about this lifestyle and learning how to make it work for me.

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  2. I have finally jumped over this damn weight loss plateau and am now down 54lbs from my highest recorded weight of 324lbs (currently 270). 12494938_10103416596365520_6470711706947133241_n.jpgMan this race has been a slow one but its mine and im so excited that the dreaded number on the scale is now moving in the right direction. Since I hit my 1st milestone goal of losing 50lbs I did something I thought I would never do…… I got my belly button pierced!20160309_080121.jpg Next Milestone goal is to lose 46lbs by my upcoming 1/2 marathon….. yea you read that right
  3. I have signed up for my 1st 1/2 marathon…yes I’m still running! I know I asked wth my problem was as I was registering for it but I am ready for the challenge! and to get me pumped I have signed up for several races of different distances (5k, 8k, and 10k and Warrior Dash) leading me up to that fabulous day in St. Louis on October 16th! (conveniently one week after my 29th birthday)
  4. I am kicking ass in Nursing School! A average so far and I should be done with the LPN program in December! the sacrifices I am making are going to be soooo worth it.nurse_future_lpn_stickers-r1fe7e5ba13144900973265cf7c6d1970_v9w0n_8byvr_512
  5. Though I am still 100% in love with that #polelife I have not danced in months. for one I have been trying to cut back on outside expenses due to nursing school and secondly my work/school/mom schedule does not allow it. I work 12hr over night shifts and turn around and go to school all while tending to mommy duties. My spare time (if any) I spend in the gym….. or napping lol
  6. I finally bought my self and Enell sports bra…. holy over the shoulder boulder holder batman! the days of double bra wearing to run are over and I must get more lol I do however still want to get fitted for a Moving comfort sports bra as I have heard really good things about them. I have a slight addiction to buying fitness gear… and mismatched socks lol
  7. I got my self a new fitness gadget (after 2 yrs lol) and I cant wait fo it to come in the mail. I chose the polar A300. I know that there are a million and one more fancy gadgets but I chose something simple that had everything I was looking for and also didn’t hurt my wallet (thanks Groupon :))
  8. Views from the 6 drops next month!!!!! #teamDrake #OVO

I think that’s about it… I feel like I have discovered a new side of my fabulous self and I just want to keep this drive to keep hitting my goals. When I hit the gym I aim to hit 1000 cals burned but as I lose weight I find its harder and harder to hit so I need to change up my routine slightly. I absolutely hate running on the treadmill…its such a struggle. One of my BGR sole sistas showed me a indoor track I never knew existed so I have another alternative. I have been exploring new areas of the gym (good ol Planet Fitness) and battle ropes are probably my absolute favorite.

Well I have to try and finish washing and get a nap in before my shift tonight. Happy Easter my Fabulous friends and I promise to come around more. With all this races and new recipes I have coming up I should have a reason to not make more appearances.

 

Stay fabulous!

Juicefromtheraw cleanse recap

Hey my fab friends!
So i just completed my very first juice cleanse and i am so excited about the results it brought me out of my blogger rut to share!
So i was playing around on groupon and came across a really good deal for a 3 day juice cleanse by JuiceFromTheRaw. Being no stranger to the idea of juicing (i love cold pressed juices by Suja) i jumped on the opportunity because hey the price couldn’t be beat. Y’all know how expensive those cleanses can get!
The order process was super simple and it even let me pick my delivery date.
My juices arrived right on schedule as promised. I had them delivered on December 3rd and started my cleanse December 4th.

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They come frozen to ensure freshness. The thaw process was very simple as you just leave them out at room temperature (but not overnight) and boom they are ready.
With pigging out over Thanksgiving (mainly with candy lol) i started the cleanse weighing 285.4

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DAY 1

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I had no real detox symptoms but i was in the bathroom allllllllll day lol
I loved the green juices. The 2nd juice made me queasy feeling but i think it was because i drank it too fast and it is a bit sweet. The 6th juice i absolutely hated #sorrynotsorry I’m just not a big coconut fan to begin with.
DAY 2

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I woke up extra early with an insane amount of energy! No hunger headache or pains…. Felt light and had to force myself to drink up because i was full. No complaints there lol
I still could not stomach the 6th juice.

DAY 3

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No cravings and a full belly. No headaches but i could notice a few acne spots creeping up. And i ended up giving away the 6th juice to a coworker lol

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I ended the cleanse weighing 278 which was less than what i weighed before Thanksgiving! Who could be mad at that?
So whats next? Well i have joined a challenge and will be Vegan for the next 21 days! Stay tuned and stay fabulous!

You can call her a runner!

Hellllllooooo love bugs!
So just wanted to check in and catch you up on my little world.
It is official, i have finally finished Couch to 5k trainning. Not only did i finish i have completed 4, yes 4, 5ks since finishing the app!

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First was the Magnificent mile 5k in which directly afterwards i balled like a baby (yes i am an emotional libra lol) but i was just so over filled with joy and pride in myself for COMPLETELY jogging a 5k for the 1st time!

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Second was The Great Pumpkin run which was done in a corn maze that was completely covered in mud so yeah i just walked as fast as i could, y’all know i have a fear of falling lol

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3rd was my 1st virtual run that helped my girl Steph with her charity for the Chicago Marathon and the bling was just too adorable AND i Pr’d!

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4th i tackled the Ditka Dash again but unlike last yr i completely jogged it with my long lost best friend from 8th grade that i have recently reconnected with. It was her 1st 5k and i was glad i got to join her for it, plus there was bling this yr!

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Now i hope to begin 5k to 10k training with my sights set on running my 1st half marathon in 2016!
I’ve also been weightlifting and making a conscious effort to get in the gym (good ol planet fitness) 3x a week

Also fingers crossed i will be starting an LPN (nursing) program in Jan 2016

Until next time make every day count and remember to love yourself!
-Stay fab

The Comeback

Man have i missed my Curvaceous little world… I’ve been back and fourth on writing a post for a while but didn’t really know what to say… But don’t fear, i have been out here living VERY confidently! If you follow me on instagram ( which you reaaallllyyyyy should: @sofab_87) then you know exactly what i mean.
I have made some drastic changes in my life. For starters i quit my job of 5 years….. Yup, walked away from that toxic environment in April of this year [2015]. I left to give me peace of mind, and it feels soooooo good! I am now in pursuit of my lpn license and working in a rehabilitation center, 3rd shift. That’s right the vampire is actually getting paid to stay up all night lol
Secondly i have once again began to tackle Couch to 5k…. Only this time i am determined ….. Wait, BEYOND determined to finish. Proud to report that i have made it the furthest i have ever gone and have approx. 6 runs left before i am a C25k graduate. If you don’t know what that program is, it is basically a training program that will help you run 3.1 miles or 30 minutes nonstop in 9 weeks. I have never made it past week 3 until now and will be starting week 8 on Tuesday! And to celebrate i already have a line up of 5k’s i will be ! Yes, i kno i have done 7 5k’s in the past (2 were mud runs) but i have never jogged the entire 3.1 miles. That is allllllll going to change 🙂 here is my line up…. So far

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And to date these are the ones i have done:

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Speaking of mud runs, i tackled Warrior Dash last Saturday!

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Man oh man what an experience! Challenging both mentally and physically but i got it done and did not skip one obstacle. Not even the 14 foot wall climb that had me frozen in the air contemplating going all the way back down to the bottom! But i had an awesome partner. My Sarah went through the course with me and refused to let me even think about quitting

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Of course we will be doing this again, no 2nd thought about it!

What else could possibly be going on? Besides my son now being in 1st grade (yes i feel old….) i am still 100% into pole fitness and i am now in the intermediate/advanced class!

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I have even been inverting! (sorta lol)

All in all i am still finding my way BUT enjoying every step! The # on the scale still various from day to day but i feel stronger, my endurance is higher and I’m tackling things i would have never imagined i could do. I’m still living the Curvaceous and confident lifestyle and loving every minute!
Stay fabulous…..

Ambition on…… Fleek?…. or Nah

Well party people….
I find myself back at this place… where there is sooooo much on my plate I am forgetting about things..
Now as a big believer in astronomical signs impacting how we act I blame a lot of my time management problems on my Libra traits, and trust me I am a very classic Libra in every way.

Lately I am swamped with school, work, being a fulltime single mom, weight loss hopeful and pole dance junkie…. and like always my weight loss takes a back seat. I was doing so good. I’ve lost 43 lbs…. but then I looked up and I was not working out. Why you ask? please I am barely remembering to eat most days. that’s just how busy I am lately. More responsibility at my job, striving to be a good student all with out neglecting my parental duties… but these are all excuses!!

I don’t want to end up where I started. I don’t want to give up on my self, I have goals to reach. I deserve to continue to improve my health. My son deserves a healthy mama. So what will I do??

I have used my planner and actually scheduled myself a day to sit down and write out a schedule (crazy right?) to get my life back on track! I mean it. everything from meal planning to planning when I will work out and what workouts I will do. I will even fit my blog in, I swear!

I have signed up for 3 races and I need to start training. Run like a Diva 5k in Houston, Tx in April, Blacklight 5k in May, and Warrior Dash Chicago in June (super excited about this one). Can she do it? Hell yea!

few things that have happened/are happening in my world:
-Became a pole level 2
-Will be seeing Trey Songz & Chris Brown in concert next Friday! (27th)
-Got new piercings!! and I am completely in love with them
-will be taking my son on his first airplane trip to Texas in april for my race (shhhh he doesn’t know yet)
-considering moving out of state next year (eek)

Well party people I am actually in my bio class right now lol but I look forward to getting on track and sharing my world with you 🙂

….Hello.. Anybody home?

I know I know…. I’ve been horrible… but this is my attempt to do better!
Where have I been? Thanks for asking!
A few things that have been shaping the “oh so fab” life of a curvaceous and confident diva:

I have taken up…. pole dancing! yes you read that right. I’ve been doing it for a little over 8 weeks now and I am in LOVE. I am currently enrolled at Bombshell Movement in their 8 week Diva serious and next Sunday I take my assessment test to move on to level 2. Now yes I questioned my self and was overly nervous when I went for my first day. I stood there barefoot with the following thoughts ” who am I kidding? I am too big for this” Man was I wrong! I am actually good at it. That’s right, the girl with absolutely no upper body strength is a BEAST at the pole! Granted I still have some things I need to work on like pole climbing… but I got the twirls,, spins and floor work down hunty!!! I even have a pair of 6 inch dance shoes #boombaby

I am an ambassador for the Get Fit or Get Fat Shapeup2015 competition…. I was one of the winners of last cycle and was invited to coach for this cycle ( I also opted to be a competitor again lol)

I am back in school and working towards my Nursing degree. Something I have wanted to do for the longest time… Why not go for it? I am only taking two classes this semester. I do tend to thing I’m Super Woman but lets keep it real, full time job, 6 year old son, health journey, plus school?? yep, its going to take some hard work and dedication but the force is strong with this one!

I have officially signed up for two 5k’s: The run like a Diva 5k in Houston Texas and the Blacklight run here in Chicago (loved it so much last year wanted to do it again). Right now I have my eyes set on another mud run and since Foam fest went bankrupt I am trying to decide between Warrior Dash and Mudderella.

I finally got another computer (trust me it was so hard trying to type papers let alone run a blog on my phone lol) so it should be a lot easier to reach out to the blog world.

I am still on my health an wellness mission but I am trying to be more realistic and embrace where I am in my journey instead of looking at how far I have to go. I try my hardest to stay away from that scale, im breaking up (sorta0 with calorie counting and just trying to make good decisions when it comes to my nutrition.

I am a 2015 Nuun Ambassador!

So this is where I am…. the yogi with natural hair, getting her education on, trying to stay intune with herself and on a pole addict!

Until next time my loves…. and I promise it wont be long 🙂